Hanakotoba wa Kodoku
by V. Lohengrin
Summary: And he absolutely refused to live without him, the light of his dark life... Previous part: Light


**Omae to itami wo**

**wakeaeru nara**

**Donna tsumi mo okasou**

**(**_**I will commit any sin if that allows me to share your pain.**_**)**

He did not want to see Alan bearing the pain all by himself. In fact, he could not bear to see Alan screaming and gasping in pain, again and again.

Out he went, collecting the pure souls in London, whenever he was able to.

_"But that's just a fairytale..."_

He did not care if that was just a myth or a fairytale. As long as there was still the tiny hope for Alan to be saved, he would do anything.

_"While you kill the humans, you will radiate the death aura that grew stronger and stronger in the end. And then, Alan Humphries will be blaming himself for that."_

Alan did not know anything about this. He had made sure to be very secretive when it comes to this.

But sometimes, when Alan stared into his eyes, he thought that Alan probably does.

_I'm sorry, Alan. But I really can't lose you. I can't give up on your life, not for anything. I will not lose you, the light of my life, again, ever, no matter what..._

*(1)*(2)*

* * *

><p><strong>Omae ga shindara <strong>

**koori no hoho ni**

**Ichido dake KISS shite**

**(**_**When you die I will kiss your icy cheek once**_**)**

One night, when Alan was soundly sleeping beside him, he dreamt of death.

Alan's death.

The small and pale reaper looked even smaller and paler in death, lying in the coffin.

He died because of the thorns. He died because he was too late.

In the dream, he approached the coffin and kissed the icy cheek once.

And then he broke down and cried, screaming for his loss and the unfairness of it all.

* * *

><p><strong>Hitsugi kazaru ERICA no hana no<strong>

**hanakotoba wa 'kodoku'**

**(**_**The Ericas adorning the coffin mean 'loneliness' in the flower language**_**)**

Not only in the dream did he screamed and cried.

He had awoken Alan, sleepy and confused as to why the blonde had suddenly screamed. He had shaken him awake, his green eyes wide when he discovered tears.

"Eric? You okay?" he asked, when Eric opened his eyes.

No words could describe his relieve to know that it was a nightmare.

He had pulled Alan into his arms and hugged him close and tight, wiping the tears away, and swore to himself that he would never allow the dream to come true.

"What is it, Eric?" asked the confused reaper. "Are you alright?"

He pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, and hugged him again. "It's just a nightmare, Alan..."

* * *

><p><strong>Kono yo ni hitori umarete<strong>

**toki ga kureba hitori shindeku**

**Sore ga sadame na no ni namida**

**koboreru no wa naze?**

**(**_**I was born alone in this world and when the time comes, alone I will die.**_

_**This is my fate, but why are tears rolling down my cheeks?**_**)**

When William assigned Alan to solve the case 666-4242, "The Uncollected Souls", his blood stopped out cold.

It was just a matter of time that Alan would realize what was going on.

_Alan surely couldn't forgive me, could he?_

Had it been other reaper, it would be easier for him. And Grell Sutcliff joining them just made everything even more complicated.

When Grell announced Alan's sickness to the boy and the demon, he had been surprised and angry. Surprised that the redhead actually knew that much about Alan's condition, and angry that he had revealed the secrets so easily to a demon.

"If you keep forcing yourself, it'll just make them go deeper and deeper~" the redhead had sung.

Alan did not like to be taken as a weak reaper. He understood that well. That was why he protested when William agreed to let him accompany him to solve the case.

"An immortal reaper who would one day go to his death, isn't it funny? You don't think this is a joke?"

To him, it was an unfunny, cruel joke. And he would never allow that.

"Death is so scary. So painful, so unbearable... as if my heart was torn apart. In particular, it makes me feel so... lonely."

It torn his heart to hear that from Alan.

"I... had always admired you. You are more competent than anyone else. Not only this! Although you look as if you don't want anyone to get closer, you always quietly looked after those working under you, and gave them a hand whenever they needed help..."

_Alan..._

"I want to become a reaper just like you. But... how come..."

*(5)*

He wanted to run out the manor and start collecting souls again so he could grant the wish.

_"And then, Alan Humphries will be blaming himself for that."_

Then everything turned out unexpected, yet expected at the same time.

"How could it be? Why? What's going on here, Eric?"

He did not reply him and ran away from the manor. He could not bear the pain of seeing Alan's expression when the truth leaked, and he was afraid that he could never complete his mission.

And then he bumped into the psychopathic human.

He could grant his wish to complete his mission faster. The Crystal Palace Opera could gather a large amount of the pure souls for him to collect and that could safe him the time.

The only thing he did not like from it was the theme, which reminded him of their meeting in the Erica garden and made him feeling guilty.

"Eric! Why do you keep repeating your mistakes?"

_Because I don't want to lose you._

"You're really something, aren't you, Sebastian?" To ruin his mission faster...

"I could've said the same," the demon butler replied. "Risking everything, you collected the souls just for a certain someone. How can I ever understand the depth of your sincerity?"

There, Alan heard that too. He would start linking everything and understand everything.

"But that's just a fairytale..."

"Even if it's just a fairytale, it's the only way I knew to save you now. I... no matter how small the chance is, all I can do now is try..."

That is his friendship. He would do everything because he refused to lose him, his friend, his lover, his light...

"Friendship? It's so useless. The only thing that could be trusted is... contract."

Had they been on other occasion, he would spend some time to tell the young earl how he pitied him for their relationship.

And then, Alan's soul replaced Ciel Phantomhive's, whose was supposed to be the last one.

He had known that the lives of the reapers are eternally dark and lonely. But that did not explain the tears that was running down his cheeks and dripping onto Alan's body.

"The souls you collected perhaps could have saved Mr. Alan from Thorns of Death," the demon said. "But you couldn't. These ended up meaningless. They're but useless souls.

Because it was true. Alan was no more. He did not need them anymore, he needed nothing more.

"Just as Mr. Alan said, you don't have to be sad. Because the path for both of you is the same. Death."

Not even his life.

He refused to lose him. And he absolutely refused to live without him, the light of his dark life.

"Kill me, demon. Kill me."

The demon smiled.

"Such a beautiful romance. Unfortunately it's not to my tastes."

Not that he cared.

No, all that he wanted then was to find the light and be together with him forever once again.

*(1)*(2)*(3)*(4)*

* * *

><p>AN: This fanfic contained scenes from Kuroshitsuji the Musical II: The Most Beautiful Death in the World. I translated the scenes from Chinese subbed videos together with my friends. The Japanese lyrics are from Hanakotoba wa 'Kodoku'~Eric no Theme (The Flower's Meaning is 'Loneliness'~Eric's Theme).

Credits:

(1) Leah

(2) Shin

(3) Salviaso

(4) Krietz

(The numbers in the end of each part marks the translators of the scenes.)

(5) The owner of the translations of the scene is Vivianmagic: http:/forums(dot)blackbutler(dot)net/member(dot)php?3879-vivianmagic

Kuroshitsuji the Musical II: The Most Beautiful Death in the World owner

Kuroshitsuji the Musical II: The Most Beautiful Death in the World Chinese subbed videos owner

Hanakotoba wa 'Kodoku'~Eric no Theme (The Flower's Meaning is 'Loneliness'):

: http:/forums(dot)blackbutler(dot)net/forum(dot)php

-Original source: http:/forums(dot)blackbutler(dot)net/showthread(dot)php?810-Kuroshitsuji-Musical-2-The-Most-Beautiful-Death-in-the-World-Lyrics-amp-Translations

-Translators: Nayama (http:/forums(dot)blackbutler(dot)net/member(dot)php?7-nayama) and Spacecat (http:/forums(dot)blackbutler(dot)net/member(dot)php?2-spacecat)

For my friends and readers, especially my translators, thank you so very much! XD

Enjoy~ ^^


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